The Future

After editing my porfolio I start to realise that my strong points are research and moodboards, which I both really enjoy. I've found a real love for CAD as well, which I never thought would happen! I also realise that my weak points are design and making, I want to be good at these things-I think I need to find time to practice, maybe over summer etc. And my placement should help with this as it is design based.
I started looking into what sort of jobs I might like to do once I complete my degree. I'm thinking more PR based stuff at the moment, but this is probably due to my current weaknesses. I would definitely love to do an internship for a PR agency and I wouldn't mind doing some work experience with a stylist, I think it would be really fun and a good opportunity to meet new and talented people.
Once I finish uni I want to do 6 months - a year placement at Urban Outfitters head office, I've already applied and they seemed really keen but stressed it was a long work placement and so I wasn't able to do it while at uni. I think it would be really interesting as I already work for them I have knowledge of the company. Would be good to see how head office works.
It's so difficult to know what you want to do in the future, I think I just need to do as many different internships as I can! There are so many opportunities out there once you start looking.

Marks & Spencer exhibitions

SO GOOD! And the guy that was there was so helpful and just lovely-he was telling me al about how nice Zandra Rhodes is. Brilliant exhibition. Highly recommend it!

Yorkshire Playhouse

The day me and Siobhan visited the West Yorkshire Playhouse. I also found out you can rent out 4 garments for a week for just £25 with a £30 deposit!YES!

The end is so so close!

I'm going to try and stay positive for this post as most of my entries are negative and a little depressing.
I feel that my research for research practices has come on leaps, as I mentioned before its all about fairy tales and the myths involved in them. So I decided to work in a Snow White book to link it all together nicely. I still need to make my stand but I already have that sorted in my head so it shouldn't take too long. I haven't managed to do any photoshoots, bit of a pain, but I am going to make an inspirational video. I've already done some audio recording I just need to put it all together. So thats the plan tomorrow in uni early completing video. I also need to draw out and edit my line-up but I know how I want to present it so that should be easy. Then I just need to write up my statement of intent-need to have a little think about that one.
As for PPD I think I've basically got that sorted just need to go over the email to check I havent forgotten anything.
And I think thats everything thats happening with work at the moment. I'm gonna try and spend all day at uni tomorrow and wed finalising things.
Oh I have some long awaited imagery to upload! Need to get on that!

The day I lost myself

My interview started as a shambles...I arrived at Olga's studio and called her to check what number she was at! To my shock and horror her assistant was meant to have cancelled all interviews as Olga had to go to the airport! I had travelled all the way from Leeds to London for nothing? Not quite, luckily she re-arrived for me to come to her house in Hampstead (one of my favourite areas of London) and said she would buy me a new train ticket and drop me off at kings cross. The interview was relaxed, but I felt from her reaction to certain pieces and the lack of garments that I have to work a lot harder if I am going to succeed in this world! Anyway, she decided to take me on for July which is brilliant news!
WORK INTERNSHIP-SORTED!
I'm really excited and hoping I can improve in my pattern and making skills!
Oh the other hand, I feel that my work has got steadily worse since foundation...when I was putting my portfolio together last week I looked back to my very first project at Leeds and I loved it. It was exciting and there was passion there, but now I feel like everything I do is pretty rubbish. Something has died! My passion, my motivation, my determination. I want to want to do well and I want to be good, but I just don't think I can. Every time I think about it I feel close to tears.
I think fashion is such a hard subject to study because it is so difficult to be around such amazingly creative people all the time. All you end up doing is comparing yourself to others and thinking you're not good enough.
I can't seem to get back the feeling and excitement I had for fashion in foundation and I'm worried it will never come back.
I hate feeling this way about my degree and I know I have to carry on. I just feel that I haven't found what I'm good at yet. There are so many people on my course who are "naturally good at fashion" and you can see it in their work and in their grades, no matter what they always achieve high grades! And I'm pleased for them. I just wish I could find something I'm good at and will always be passionate about.
I'm hoping that I will find my passion again through my placement and through my work at Urban Outfitters. I'm hoping I will make many contacts and succeed in that way.

Oh I just don't know what to do anymore-I want it all to be over now
(although I'll probably regret this later)